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Category Archives: Support groups and co-ops

When support groups ARE supportive, and how you can help

Our May homeschool support group meeting was organized by one of our PEACH dads, and with the help of a few other tech-savvy fathers, parents who attended learned about how to use digital technology in their homeschools.

That is what homeschool support groups should be about- families sharing their experience and expertise with others.

In spite of how much we talk about homeschoolers being social creatures, the challenge of homeschooling can become isolating. We are focused on many educational tasks- choosing, borrowing, and purchasing the best materials, organizing lesson plans, helping our kids with their questions and checking their progress, traveling on field trips, extracurricular activities, and volunteer opportunities. We often look to support groups to help us with these needs, but we need to occasionally ask ourselves- are we supporting our support group?

Support groups work best when all members view it as a collaborative effort. There are usually a few people ‘out front’- a leadership team, committee heads, officers. . . but they can’t make the group work to its fullest potential without the cooperation and combined effort of the membership.

“But I don’t have anything to offer!” you might think, “And I don’t have time to do more than I am doing!” Perhaps you are new to homeschooling, or you have a special needs child, or your family has health issues, or you care for an elderly relative.

The fact is that we all have challenges in our lives. The responsibilities of family, friends, church,and job. Every family occasionally finds themselves stretched with too much work and too little time and energy, or too many expenses and not enough income. But we still make room for other things that are important to us, like hobbies, a social life, television, reading.

So when we seek support from a support group, we may find ourselves soaking up the fellowship and encouragement and information without thinking about what we can give back, or feeling as if we have anything to give back.

There are literally dozens of ways that each person can give a little to a support group. The simplest things are a help. Just staying informed about group events by checking your email regularly, and reading the website updates or the newsletter is HUGE. If you have an online forum or message board, post encouragement and information, and answer questions when you can.

Come to meetings a few minutes early to help set up, or to act as a greeter. Stay a few minutes late to close things down and clean up if needed. Oversee a sign up table, be a hall monitor, or ask a leader if they need someone to make a few phone calls or pick up supplies for a meeting or activity. Look for new faces at meetings and on field trips and introduce yourself. If you don’t know the answer to a question, help folks find someone who can.

Part of home education is teaching our kids good character, and how to overcome obstacles. We want them to be strong, generous, resourceful, and compassionate. A support group can give us a chance to model these virtues to our children.

For those who think, “I’ve been there, done that, and I don’t need a support group”, let me encourage you to think about how you can share what you’ve learned over the years, or offer yourself as a sounding board to someone who needs a friendly ear. Both men and women have a tremendous opportunity to mentor younger/less experienced parents, as well as the young people in the group. Our children need to see us living up to our expectations of them, and we have an obligation to help others as we ourselves have been helped.

“But no one helped me- I had to figure out everything by myself. If I can do it, they can do it.” OK, fine- but is that the attitude of a compassionate, generous heart? Is this the example you have decided to set for those around you?

We saw shining examples of caring and sharing on display at our May meeting, with dads who are involved in technical careers sharing how they got started and what they’ve learned over the years. These dads work hard at their jobs. They have family, kids, yards that need mowed, washing machines that need fixed, and trash that needs to go to the curb, but they found time to be a benefit to others.

It reminds us that homeschooling is more than academics, and support groups are about more than receiving support. Take some time to think about your local support group, and what helpful and unique contributions you can make.

Spring Break: during which I didn’t actually take a break

12 Apr

I always make plans to rest during our scheduled school breaks. I’m going to catch up on my reading, and enjoy some mental downtime. Maybe I’ll clean out a closet, or rearrange some furniture. But I’m going to Take A Break.

It never happens that way. During our break, I have cleaned and reorganized several areas of the house. I attended my first homeschool convention, and started working on putting some of the new (to me) ideas I heard into our homeschool plans. Thursday night was our regular homeschool support group meeting, which I am in charge of planning.

And now I must catch up on my blogging and curriculum reviews for the Schoolhouse Review Crew, because I have taken what looks like a short blog break. However, I have been using this time to study information from various sources about the controversial Common Core Standards, and what their adoption and implementation might mean to homeschoolers.

In spite of all the busy, I have been refreshed.

I feel more in control of our space when I can get rid of clutter and arrange our stuff so that is more accessible.

Going to the convention was both overwhelming and inspiring. I met amazing and interesting people. I saw the wealth of resources available to homeschoolers, I enjoyed a couple of workshops where I heard fresh ideas about education. There was an amazing diversity of families that was uplifting and exciting.

Our local homeschool support group hosted our Annual Showcase of Shining Stars, which is our student’s opportunity to share their gifts and abilities and what they’ve learned this year with musical performances and displays of their work in art, science, crafts, and even Lego projects. It is a joy to see them happily demonstrate their hard work.

The Schoolhouse Review Crew is never a burden, but it is a challenge at times. I have to find ways to implement new resources into our already packed schedule. I must guide my children in how to use the materials, as well as how to provide helpful feedback. Then I attempt to objectively examine content and methods, and write a post that is accurate and fair.

Because of this, I am more aware of how everything I read and experience can bolster my efforts as a homeschooler. I learn how to communicate more effectively. These demands may be difficult on occasion, but they give me a sense of accomplishment, along with the feeling of continued development of my character and growth in knowledge. It is a feeling I want to share with my kids so that they can experience it as well.

So what if I didn’t really ‘take a break’. I can take all the breaks I want when I’m sitting in a nursing home throwing bedpans at some poor nurse. Now is the time to use my interests and gifts in a way that benefits my family and those who pass my way both physically and virtually.

I’ll try to take a break in July.

Homeschoolers DO need to talk about socialization

15 Mar

Our local support group, PEACH, hosted a socialization workshop with Melinda, Scott, and Josh Boring Thursday, March 14th.

It is a bit ironic that we would have a meeting about socialization, when this is the question that we 1) hear repeatedly 2) drives us crazy 3) dismiss very quickly as irrelevant.

But is it?

Melinda presented her seminar on “When Socialization IS an Issue”, and provided a comprehensive overview of ways parents can assess and improve their child’s social skills.

Does your child have difficulty when trying to join an activity?
Does your child fail to make eye contact, or respond inconsistently to others’ attempts at interaction?
Do they tend to monopolize conversations?
Does your child have a limited number of subjects he/she prefers to discuss?
Do they understand the importance of tone of voice and facial expression, and do they know how to interpret the tone of voice and body language of others?

She included years of experience as a speech/language pathologist and a homeschool mom. She shared many illustrations of her observations and practices with her own children who had sensory and attention deficit issues. Although socialization can be of particular concern for parents of children with special needs, all children need information and guidance in this area.

Her PowerPoint presentation gave us many examples of games that helped target and address problem areas, such as making eye contact, getting to the point, reading body language and facial expressions, and relaying important details.

Do you have a Chatty Cathy or Ivan the Introvert? Melinda offered many solutions that help parents correct unfriendly or inappropriate behaviors without discouraging kids and making them feel picked on.

Some ideas that were fun and creative:

Write sentences on index cards, and read it with different facial expressions and tone of voice to express anger, sadness, confusion, etc. . .
Cut out cartoons from the comics, and also cut out the dialogue bubbles. Have the child explain what is going on in the picture, and what the characters might be saying to each other.
Hold up an object and have your child describe it in 3 brief sentences.
Role playing social situations and practicing ‘scripts’ to give the child tools to deal with on-the-spot questions.

Melinda, Scott, and Josh stayed after our meeting and answered questions for quite awhile. It was clear that many homeschoolers were blessed by all the wisdom and knowledge the Borings had to offer. It was a great time of information, encouragement, and fellowship!

Melinda has been a regular columnist for the Ohio Home School Companion, and is the author of Heads Up Helping!. Her website is Heads Up Now!, and she includes some links to her ideas on her Pinterest page.

1 Comment

Posted by Susan Raber on March 15, 2013 in Gifted and special needs, Parenting & Family, Support groups and co-ops

Tags: child social skills, homeschool socialization, teaching manners to children

The Joy of Field Trips

09 Mar

There are days where I feel very ambivalent about field trips. I want to stay in the comforts of home. I want my coffee, my fuzzy socks, and my favorite wing chair. Then I think about traffic and crowds and a long day of walking around, and I start thinking of excuses as to why it’s not a good day for a field trip. It’s too hot, it’s too cold, I think I have a temperature. I’m even tempted to hold a thermometer against a light bulb (yeah, like you never did that in high school!).

But when I overcome my lack of enthusiasm for a day out and about with the kids, I always have a blast. I wonder why I was ever reluctant.

A help and encouragement in this area is being a part of a homeschool support group. Our local group is called PEACH- Parents Educating at Christian Homes. We have a terrific field trips coordinator who organizes a couple of activities every month. All we need to do is sign up, pay any necessary fees ( and we get often qualify for a group rate), and show up on the day. It makes it so much more enjoyable to be with other parents and kids that we know.

Last week we spent the day at COSI- the Ohio Center of Science and Industry. There was no end to the fun things to see and do.

We learned how pulleys, gears, and lasers work in the Gadgets section.

We explored the 1960′s in a recreation of that era. I almost expected the Fonz to walk through the door of the diner, which had a working jukebox and pinball machine.

Kenny couldn’t wait to get to the Space exhibit, where he could get inside models of space vehicles and operate a robotic arm.

The Ocean exhibit allowed kids to get inside a mockup of a submarine, and operate an underwater remote camera.

There were also mazes, puzzles, physical fitness tests, rat basketball, and a high wire unicycle. The kids could play with wind, water, lasers, magnets, and a variety of machines.

I was not at all regretful that we went. The next time I don’t feel like packing up the kids and heading out for a day of educational fun, I will see these pictures and remember a day of laughter and learning, and I will gladly set down my coffee, put on some shoes, and go on a field trip!

Four qualities of homeschool mentors

06 Mar

Whether we realize it or not, we are all teachers. Someone in our lives is looking at us, and to us, for advice and guidance and comfort. And we are looking to others for those very same things.

Homeschoolers are often very quick to enter into mentoring relationships. We do not have a built in support system as do traditional schooling parents, so we must find ways to connect with others who share our desire to direct our children’s education.

The internet immediately became the homeschooler’s favorite tool for networking, shopping, and choosing curriculum. Support groups and coops sprung up hither and yon like clover in the springtime.

What should you look for in a mentor, and what does it take to be one?

Experience- How much homeschooling experience do you need to be a mentor?

I think five minutes sounds about right.

The fact is, homeschooling begins the second our children are born. We teach them hand-eye coordination, compassion, speech, morality and appropriate behavior. . . and if they are potty trained by the time they are four, go ahead and pat yourself on the back. You have read them stories, sometimes even with voices and sound effects. They know colors and shapes, and can build a fort with anything from Legos to mashed potatoes. You have done some serious teaching already, and homeschooling is just a continuation of that.

Mentoring is being honest and open about sharing your experiences. Tell each other what worked, and even better, tell each other what didn’t work. Discussion is often just thinking out loud, and when we talk with someone else about the situations we’ve faced, or perceive are in our future, we can not only help each other find solutions, but offer caution and counsel about what to avoid.

Example- The aspect of mentoring that most find scary is the idea of leading by example. We think being a good role model implies achieving perfection or expertise. However, being an example is more about modeling how to handle shortcomings and vulnerabilities than being impervious to them.

In what areas do we expect to act as an example? Are other parents teaching the same way we do, using the same books, and parenting clones of our children? I don’t think so. Each family has their own dynamic, every child has specific needs, and our homeschools will develop and adapt as the days go by.

Mentoring is not providing a pattern for others and expecting them to simply connect the dots. Rather, it is providing an anchor so that they feel the confidence and freedom to forge their own unique path. Our steadfast faith, patience, and compassion are the principles that guide us, and will also help us guide them.

Encourage- Maybe no one liked the cheerleaders in high school, but everyone needs encouragement, and mentors make a point of regularly offering hope, support, and comfort to those in need.

Encouragement doesn’t require eloquence, or expensive cards and gifts. Your steady presence can be felt in the simple prayers, notes, phone calls, emails, or even text messages. But don’t use trite and worn phrases that lack sincerity. If you are a mentor, it does require knowing in what areas your friend needs consolation or inspiration.

As Christians we are commanded to be burden-bearers:

Galatians 6:2 Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

As homeschoolers we know how much lighter the load feels when others come along beside us to comfort and sustain us.

Empathize- This sounds easier than it is in reality. Empathy isn’t just feeling for someone, it is feeling with them. We aren’t simply communicating, but communing with one another.

We claim to desire and enjoy close-knit relationships, but we are often guilty of keeping people at arm’s length. By not trying to connect with others, we are by default pushing them away. We are loathe to reveal any vulnerabilities, and we are too busy with our own issues to deal with the struggles of others. But when we keep people at a distance, we can neither receive the warmth and joy of friendship, or give it.

Homeschoolers may lead very different lives, and use a variety of education methods and resources, but we know the same insecurities, concerns, fears, and irritations-

“What if I can’t teach them?”
“Why isn’t my child’s spelling improving?”
“What if my family is against our decision to homeschool?”
“What about high school and college?”
“Why do people always ask us how we provide proper socialization?”

Because we know how it feels to have these questions, we can commiserate with others, and find solutions together.

Have you begun to see yourself as a homeschool mentor? Are you new to homeschooling, and hoping to find someone who will act in this capacity for you? Make it a goal to find another homeschooler, and share your experiences, be a good example, encourage and empathize with them.