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Category Archives: Gifted and special needs

Homeschoolers DO need to talk about socialization

Our local support group, PEACH, hosted a socialization workshop with Melinda, Scott, and Josh Boring Thursday, March 14th.

It is a bit ironic that we would have a meeting about socialization, when this is the question that we 1) hear repeatedly 2) drives us crazy 3) dismiss very quickly as irrelevant.

But is it?

Melinda presented her seminar on “When Socialization IS an Issue”, and provided a comprehensive overview of ways parents can assess and improve their child’s social skills.

Does your child have difficulty when trying to join an activity?
Does your child fail to make eye contact, or respond inconsistently to others’ attempts at interaction?
Do they tend to monopolize conversations?
Does your child have a limited number of subjects he/she prefers to discuss?
Do they understand the importance of tone of voice and facial expression, and do they know how to interpret the tone of voice and body language of others?

She included years of experience as a speech/language pathologist and a homeschool mom. She shared many illustrations of her observations and practices with her own children who had sensory and attention deficit issues. Although socialization can be of particular concern for parents of children with special needs, all children need information and guidance in this area.

Her PowerPoint presentation gave us many examples of games that helped target and address problem areas, such as making eye contact, getting to the point, reading body language and facial expressions, and relaying important details.

Do you have a Chatty Cathy or Ivan the Introvert? Melinda offered many solutions that help parents correct unfriendly or inappropriate behaviors without discouraging kids and making them feel picked on.

Some ideas that were fun and creative:

Write sentences on index cards, and read it with different facial expressions and tone of voice to express anger, sadness, confusion, etc. . .
Cut out cartoons from the comics, and also cut out the dialogue bubbles. Have the child explain what is going on in the picture, and what the characters might be saying to each other.
Hold up an object and have your child describe it in 3 brief sentences.
Role playing social situations and practicing ‘scripts’ to give the child tools to deal with on-the-spot questions.

Melinda, Scott, and Josh stayed after our meeting and answered questions for quite awhile. It was clear that many homeschoolers were blessed by all the wisdom and knowledge the Borings had to offer. It was a great time of information, encouragement, and fellowship!

Melinda has been a regular columnist for the Ohio Home School Companion, and is the author of Heads Up Helping!. Her website is Heads Up Now!, and she includes some links to her ideas on her Pinterest page.

1 Comment

Posted by Susan Raber on March 15, 2013 in Gifted and special needs, Parenting & Family, Support groups and co-ops

Tags: child social skills, homeschool socialization, teaching manners to children

Homeschooling children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

04 May

Last week, Milton Gaither reviewed a report by Karen S. Hurlbutt called “Experiences of Parents Who Homeschool Their Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders” from the publication Developmental Disabilities 26, no. 4 (December 2011): 239-249.

The results of Ms. Hurlbutt’s research are encouraging for parents with children who have ASD. These parents are nurturing, involved, knowledgeable, flexible, courageous, and willing to sacrifice career and financial success
to minister to the needs of their children.

Mr. Gaither gives a great synopsis of the article, but then ends with this comment:

As it stands, this article to me reads like a variation on the theme of helicopter parents, intensive mothering, invasive parenting, or whatever other trendy term one might select.

Let me help you out with something, Mr. Gaither. Helicopter parent is a pejorative term for parents who are paranoid, suffocating, and often forbid normal healthy activities for their children. Invasive parenting is also an abnormal parental response, resulting in a parent going to ridiculous, unethical lengths to ensure their child’s well-being and success. These are also frequently referred as PFHs, or “parents from hell”.

What you really meant to say was that Ms. Hurlbutt’s research seems to indicate that most traditional schools are ill-equipped to deal with the special needs of special needs children, but that parents- naturally and deeply invested in the well-being of their own children- are often absolutely up to the task.

No problem, Mr. Gaither- you can thank me later with chocolate chip cookies, or maybe some fudge. Just glad we were able to straighten that out.

2 Comments

Posted by Susan Raber on May 4, 2012 in Gifted and special needs

Tags: developmental disabilities, homeschooling children with ASD, Karen Hurlbutt, research into homeschooling special needs children

“The system has failed me”

02 Apr

A recent commentary published in Education Week titled “I Am a Twice-Exceptional Student” by Andrew Edward Collins is a real eye-opener.

I have come to realize that some of the students most at risk in our country aren’t just the ones from poor family backgrounds or those who have mental weakness. The twice-exceptional student is also at a tremendous risk. He is at risk of developing low self-esteem, a poor work ethic, depression, and frustration toward school. A twice-exceptional student is a student who is both gifted and disabled, possessing the mental ability or skill at, or above, the 98th percentile in some areas, but remaining significantly deficient in others.

This is not a “isn’t public school awful and aren’t you glad you homeschool” post, although I’d be lying if I didn’t say that when I read articles like this, I do feel a renewed sense of purpose. The point is- here we have the testimony of a student who is exceptional in a particular area, but was severely affected by labels applied to him at a young age, and constantly perpetuated throughout his schooling.

The author was advanced in reading and literature, but struggling in math and science. Our system is not set up to deal with the literary genius who can’t divide fractions- we demand that all children be at least average in every single subject, and if they have problems in one area, it affects all others. Their GPA makes it look as if they are barely passing, when in fact they are extremely talented. Every day schools throw students out with the bathwater.

One aspect of traditional schooling that contributes to this is age segregation. Even though we recognize that children develop at different rates, we still insist on categorizing and measuring them by the date of their birth. What’s more, we assume that all the kids in 6th grade are 12- but think about it- the age range in that classroom is likely to extend from 11 years to 13. A third of the class is playing with Barbies and G. I. Joes, the rest are already experiencing puberty and mooning over Taylor Swift.

A solution would be to cease corralling by the date of their birth, and organize classes based on developmental readiness, abilities, and interests. Providing expression for a child’s strengths builds their confidence, but this does not mean that we do not address subject areas where they are experiencing difficulty.

The homeschool parent can take a lesson from this as well. We may feel as if we must ‘measure up’ to the educational standards other parents set, or the academic achievements of our children’s peers. “I worry about my child being behind” is a common concern expressed by homeschoolers. But ask yourself, “Behind what? Behind whom?”

The right question is, “Is my child learning to the best of his/her ability?” Your child is an individual, and it is OK for them to have a talent, a particular interest, a specialty. If they want to write a novel but have trouble with long division, obviously their math skills need reinforcement- but they do not need to be penalized in all areas because of their struggles in one.