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Category Archives: Christian Life

When support groups ARE supportive, and how you can help

peach collage completeOur May homeschool support group meeting was organized by one of our PEACH dads, and with the help of a few other  tech-savvy fathers, parents who attended learned about how to use digital technology in their homeschools.

That is what homeschool support groups should be about- families sharing their experience and expertise with others.

In spite of how much we talk about homeschoolers being social creatures, the challenge of homeschooling can become isolating. We are focused on many educational tasks- choosing, borrowing, and purchasing the best materials, organizing lesson plans, helping our kids with their questions and checking their progress, traveling on field trips, extracurricular activities, and volunteer opportunities. We often look to support groups to help us with these needs, but we need to occasionally ask ourselves- are we supporting our support group?

Support groups work best when all members view it as a collaborative effort. There are usually a few people ‘out front’- a leadership team, committee heads, officers. . . but they can’t make the group work to its fullest potential without the cooperation and combined effort of the membership.

“But I don’t have anything to offer!” you might think, “And I don’t have time to do more than I am doing!” Perhaps you are new to homeschooling, or you have a special needs child, or your family has health issues, or you care for an elderly relative.

The fact is that we all have challenges in our lives. The responsibilities of family, friends, church,and job. Every family occasionally finds themselves stretched with too much work and too little time and energy, or too many expenses and not enough income. But we still make room for other things that are important to us, like hobbies, a social life, television, reading.

So when we seek support from a support group, we may find ourselves soaking up the fellowship and encouragement and information without thinking about what we can give back, or feeling as if we have anything to give back.

There are literally dozens of ways that each person can give a little to a support group. The simplest things are a help. Just staying informed about group events by checking your email regularly, and reading the website updates or the newsletter is HUGE. If you have an online forum or message board, post encouragement and information, and answer questions when you can.

Come to meetings a few minutes early to help set up, or to act as a greeter. Stay a few minutes late to close things down and clean up if needed. Oversee a sign up table, be a hall monitor, or ask a leader if they need someone to make a few phone calls or pick up supplies for a meeting or activity. Look for new faces at meetings and on field trips and introduce yourself. If you don’t know the answer to a question, help folks find someone who can.

Part of home education is teaching our kids good character, and how to overcome obstacles. We want them to be strong, generous, resourceful, and compassionate. A support group can give us a chance to model these virtues to our children.

For those who think, “I’ve been there, done that, and I don’t need a support group”, let me encourage you to think about how you can share what you’ve learned over the years, or offer yourself as a sounding board to someone who needs a friendly ear. Both men and women have a tremendous opportunity to mentor younger/less experienced parents, as well as the young people in the group. Our children need to see us living up to our expectations of them, and we have an obligation to help others as we ourselves have been helped.

“But no one helped me- I had to figure out everything by myself. If I can do it, they can do it.” OK, fine- but is that the attitude of a compassionate, generous heart? Is this the example you have decided to set for those around you?

We saw shining examples of caring and sharing on display at our May meeting, with dads who are involved in technical careers sharing how they got started and what they’ve learned over the years. These dads work hard at their jobs. They have family, kids, yards that need mowed, washing machines that need fixed, and trash that needs to go to the curb, but they found time to be a benefit to others.

It reminds us that homeschooling is more than academics, and support groups are about more than receiving support. Take some time to think about your local support group, and what helpful and unique contributions you can make.

 

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Four qualities of homeschool mentors

Homeschool success signWhether we realize it or not, we are all teachers. Someone in our lives is looking at us, and to us, for advice and guidance and comfort. And we are looking to others for those very same things.

Homeschoolers are often very quick to enter into mentoring relationships. We do not have a built in support system as do traditional schooling parents, so we must find ways to connect with others who share our desire to direct our children’s education.

The internet immediately became the homeschooler’s favorite tool for networking, shopping, and choosing curriculum. Support groups and coops sprung up hither and yon like clover in the springtime.

What should you look for in a mentor, and what does it take to be one?

Experience- How much homeschooling experience do you need to be a mentor?

I think five minutes sounds about right. 

The fact is, homeschooling begins the second our children are born. We teach them hand-eye coordination, compassion, speech, morality and appropriate behavior. . . and if they are potty trained by the time they are four, go ahead and pat yourself on the back. You have read them stories, sometimes even with voices and sound effects. They know colors and shapes, and can build a fort with anything from Legos to mashed potatoes. You have done some serious teaching already, and homeschooling is just a continuation of that.

Mentoring is being honest and open about sharing your experiences. Tell each other what worked, and even better, tell each other what didn’t work. Discussion is often just thinking out loud, and when we talk with someone else about the situations we’ve faced, or perceive are in our future, we can not only help each other find solutions, but offer caution and counsel about what to avoid.

Example- The aspect of mentoring that most find scary is the idea of leading by example. We think being a good role model implies achieving perfection or expertise. However, being an  example is more about modeling how to handle shortcomings and vulnerabilities than being impervious to them.

In what areas do we expect to act as an example? Are other parents teaching the same way we do, using the same books, and parenting clones of our children? I don’t think so. Each family has their own dynamic, every child has specific needs, and our homeschools will develop and adapt as the days go by.

Mentoring is not providing a pattern for others and expecting them to simply connect the dots. Rather, it is providing an anchor so that they feel the confidence and freedom to forge their own unique path. Our steadfast faith, patience, and compassion are the principles that guide us, and will also help us guide them.

Encourage- Maybe no one liked the cheerleaders in high school, but everyone needs encouragement, and mentors make a point of regularly offering hope, support, and comfort to those in need.

Encouragement doesn’t require eloquence, or expensive cards and gifts. Your steady presence can be felt in the simple prayers, notes, phone calls, emails, or even text messages. But don’t use trite and worn phrases that lack sincerity. If you are a mentor, it does require knowing in what areas your friend needs consolation or inspiration.

As Christians we are commanded to be burden-bearers:

Galatians 6:2 Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

As homeschoolers we know how much lighter the load feels when others come along beside us to comfort and sustain us.

Empathize- This sounds easier than it is in reality. Empathy isn’t just feeling for someone, it is feeling with them. We aren’t simply communicating, but communing with one another.

We claim to desire and enjoy close-knit relationships, but we are often guilty of keeping people at arm’s length. By not trying to connect with others, we are by default pushing them away. We are loathe to reveal any vulnerabilities, and we are too busy with our own issues to deal with the struggles of others. But when we keep people at a distance, we can neither receive the warmth and joy of friendship, or give it.

Homeschoolers may lead very different lives, and use a variety of education methods and resources, but we know the same insecurities, concerns, fears, and irritations-

  • “What if I can’t teach them?”  
  • “Why isn’t my child’s spelling improving?”
  • “What if my family is against our decision to homeschool?”
  • “What about high school and college?”
  • “Why do people always ask us how we provide proper socialization?”

Because we know how it feels to have these questions, we can commiserate with others, and find solutions together. 

Have you begun to see yourself as a homeschool mentor? Are you new to homeschooling, and hoping to find someone who will act in this capacity for you? Make it a goal to find another homeschooler, and share your experiences, be a good example, encourage and empathize with them. 

 

 

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Inspirational Reading- Scripture

new yearA new year begins, and most of us think of January 1st as a time to set new goals; eating healthy, exercising, losing weight, quitting a bad habit, saving money, getting a better job, or becoming more organized.

Homeschoolers are regrouping for their 2nd semester, maybe with a new schedule, or a change in curriculum.

For Christians, it is sometimes the beginning of a new Bible reading schedule.

There are many Bible reading plans online, at websites like Bible Study Tools and BibleGateway. You can choose from yearly plans, 90 Day Challenges, and chronological plans.

Bible reading is a great way to spend the morning- especially when you are sitting down to breakfast with the kids, establishing good habits and laying a foundation of character and virtue, helping them understand what the Scriptures mean in their context, and how to apply Biblical principles to their lives.

However, no plan or schedule will guarantee spiritual growth. Although Bible study and prayer time are essential for growth in grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, as long as it is merely something to check off a list of Things To Do, the effort is just wood, hay, and stubble.

There is no substitute for a desire to know Christ, gratitude for His saving grace and continuous mercy, awe that He cares so much for His creation, and a yearning to know what He would communicate to us through His Word.

Don’t allow Bible reading and prayer become a duty, a chore. Ask God to open your eyes daily and behold wonderful things from His miraculously preserved Scripture. If this is your attitude, reading the Bible will be one resolution you have no trouble keeping.

 
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Posted by on December 30, 2012 in Bible, Christian Life, Parenting & Family

 

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Review of Growing Up Wild

My parents loved having missionary families over for fellowship when I was a kid. I remember the McComas family, missionaries to Germany, and the Goddards, called to Paraguay. I had a pen pal named LeeAnn in Rhodesia. Understanding the importance of missions, and bonding with missionary families was an important part of our lives.

The Wild family, missionaries to the Wano tribe in Papua, Indonesia, have offered us a way to connect with them and the tribe they are reaching with the Gospel with a DVD series called Growing Up Wild.

This series was especially enjoyable for many reasons:

  • A close up look at the every day life of a missionary family
  • Seeing the Gospel presented and bearing fruit in the lives of a people on the other side of the world
  • Learning about the wildlife in that part of Indonesia
  • Finding out about the culture and language of the Wano tribe
  • An emphasis on the purpose of their lives as missionaries of the Gospel of Christ
  • Many activities to encourage families to explore the Bible as well as the wonders of creation in their own neck of the woods
  • Realizing all of the people needed for support and encouragement, both amterial and spiritual
  • Well put together overall, good video quality, interesting narration, very cool activities guides

We received Volumes 1 & 4. Each volume contains two discs- the CD has the Activity Guides as downloadable .pdf files, and the other is a DVD with three 15 minute episodes. 

Volume 1:

  • Home Sweet Hut
  • Supply Trip
  • Sun & Water

Volume 4:

  • Amazing World Around Us
  • Adventures in Culture
  • Tribal Calling

These videos and activity guides thoroughly explore the lives of the Wild family and the Wano tribe. They are sure to inspire discussion about how to maintain a healthy, Biblically appropriate balance between immersion in a foreign culture and retaining one’s own cultural roots. Many aspects of living with (what we would think of as) a primitive tribe are explained and linked to further study opportunities. Solar energy is captured by photovoltaic cells and stored in batteries, and gravity fed storage tanks give them running water. To obtain supplies, the Wilds hike 3 miles over rough terrain (a trip that takes about 2 hours) to a ‘local’ airstrip so they can stock up for months at a time.

We see the foods that are available to them in the jungle and how they are prepared. Many creatures make an appearance- an 11 ft. reticulated python, a spider worthy of the starring role in any horror movie, chatty cockatoos, walking sticks, rats, an ill-fated praying mantis, marsupials, and the family pets- a cat named Phineas and Kopi the dog. The Wild boys- Morgan, Hudson, Kian and Asher- certainly love their lives, and we get to see them at work and play, explaining some of the different aspects of their lives as kids growing up on a foreign field.

Activities that encourage further study of animal and insect life, cultural differences, Creationism vs. Darwinism (resources from Answers in Genesis are recommended), building models, etc are included in the Activity Guides, and Scripture is used generously to emphasize the proper focus and perspective (Scripture quotations are from the ESV).

More importantly, we are given more than just a glimpse of how they reach the Wano people with the Gospel. The Wano people had no written language, so over the course of 3 years, the Wilds learned the language, created an alphabet and written language, and began the process of translating the Bible and creating Bible lessons to lay a Scriptural foundation for the presentation of the Gospel. After this was accomplished, sixty Wano people were saved and a church was founded. You will see the moving testimony of one of the Wano people who found Christ as Savior, and even though all the bugs and critters and jungle life is cool- this is the heart of missions.

For those of you wondering if these videos are appropriate for your kids, here are some things to consider:

  • many of the Wano men only wear a gourd that covers their privates, but very little else is seen because of the way the videos are shot
  • there is no female nudity
  • the Wild boys are often shirtless
  • the Wild boys get their noses pierced
  • the cat Phineas chomps down a rat
  • the Wano tribe is seen preparing for tribal war
  • the boys have their own ‘mock’ war with bows and arrows
  • one of the boys eats a fish eye
  • the boys play with snakes, and hunt down and kill tarantulas, saving their fangs as trophies

I only include these things for informational purposes.

By the time we finished watching these videos, my heart ached for the Wano people. I felt like I knew them, and I also felt a connection to the Wild family. There is no doubt in my mind that they will often be in my prayers.

If you want your family to have a better understanding of what missionary life is like in a place like Papau, Indonesia, I don’t know of a better resource than Growing Up Wild. Each Volume is available for $18.99 (plus tax/shipping), or you can purchase Volumes 1-5 for $80.99a 15% discount.

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Review of Raising Maidens of Virtue-Grace and Truth Books

“Maidens” is an old-fashioned word, calling to mind Victorian era fashions and manners, or medieval times with brave knights rescuing damsels in distress.

Our daughters are in distress – our culture does not treasure femininity, nor do some appear to even want to acknowledge gender differences. How do we help our girls embrace who they are in the Lord under this kind of societal pressure?

Grace and Truth Books offers some great helps for parents who are trying to teach their children Biblical character and values, and Raising Maidens of Virtue by Stacy McDonald is particularly beneficial for parents of daughters.

Raising Maidens of Virtue celebrates the feminine without being saccharine. Each chapter focuses on virtuous behavior in a way that addresses the root problems – our innermost heart and mind – with Scriptural principles and examples.

Chapters are:

  • A Little Further Down the Road 
  • Modern-Day Maidens
  • The Fence Dwellers
  • The Beauty of Chastity
  • The Heart of Chastity
  • Baby’s Got Her Blue Jeans On
  • Tinkling Feet
  • The Bath
  • Dwelling in Unity
  • Taming the Tongue
  • Loving Your Own Nest
  • Fresh Milk
  • I Love Me, I Love Me Not
  • Homemade Homemakers
  • Lady of Leisure
  • So This Is …Love?
  • Daddy’s Fair Maiden
  • A Knight In Shining Armor
  • The Heart of a Maiden
  • Excuse Me Ma’am, But Your Doctrine is Showing

Modesty is approached as a heart issue: who are we in the Lord, how do we want to present ourselves, and how can we be a help and blessing instead of a stumblingblock?

Since the topic of modesty is often poorly taught, you might ask: Am I to dress as plain as possible? Is frumpier holier? Should I try to hide the clear fact that I’m a woman by wearing a sack? p. 45 Raising Maidens of Virtue

The author, Stacy McDonald, helps navigate through the extremes of 1) denying anything to do with physical beauty or 2) being obsessed with it. She encourages us to think about chastity and purity as an outpouring of our love for God, respecting ourselves as children of God, and loving our neighbor.

The chapter titled “Baby’s Got Her Blue Jeans On” is not a sermon against denim, but an illustration (using the song of the same title by Mel McDaniel, circa 1984) of how even ‘the world’ understands that certain clothing and behaviors can be sexually provocative. It’s about being thoughtful and careful in how we present ourselves, not about creating extra-Biblical prohibitions.

The author’s daughter, Jessica, wrote Chapter 16, “So This is …Love?”, which deals very honestly with the emotional struggles of teenage girls learning to understand the difference between feelings and healthy, Godly love.

I admit I skipped to the last chapter, “Excuse Me, Ma’am, But Your Doctrine is Showing” out of curiosity. Here the author points out that the way we live our daily lives reveals what we believe about God, His Word, and His Bride- the church.

Each chapter ends with a “Share Your Heart” section, with Scriptures and questions to promote further thought. The Appendix offers even more reflection, with sections on how “Modesty Promotes Friendship”, an explanation of the difference between saving faith and faithful obedience in “Will Striving to Become a Maiden of Virtue Save Me?”. “Pages of Time” is a multi-generational scrapbooking project,  and there are other scrapbook suggestions in “Memory-Making Projects”. For the bookish, there is a format for “A Literary Maiden Luncheon” which combines a study of maidenhood with classic favorites such as Little Women by Louisa May Alcott and Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

My 14-year-old daughter and I have enjoyed the conversations that this book inspires, as well as the perspective of another Christian female voice calling for us to value our virtue instead of being ashamed of it.

You can order Raising Maidens of Virtue by Stacy McDonald from Grace and Truth Books for $18.50. It is a 220-page glossy hardback printed on good quality paper. The beautiful and nostalgic illustrations by Johannah Bluedorn add to the book’s overall look and appeal. Scripture quotations are from the King James Version of the Bible, unless otherwise noted.

Read more about Stacy McDonald at her blog, Your Sacred Calling, and ‘Like’ Grace and Truth Books on Facebook.

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Posted by on November 9, 2012 in Christian Life, Parenting & Family

 

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