Last week, Milton Gaither reviewed a report by Karen S. Hurlbutt called “Experiences of Parents Who Homeschool Their Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders” from the publication Developmental Disabilities 26, no. 4 (December 2011): 239-249.
The results of Ms. Hurlbutt’s research are encouraging for parents with children who have ASD. These parents are nurturing, involved, knowledgeable, flexible, courageous, and willing to sacrifice career and financial success
to minister to the needs of their children.
Mr. Gaither gives a great synopsis of the article, but then ends with this comment:
As it stands, this article to me reads like a variation on the theme of helicopter parents, intensive mothering, invasive parenting, or whatever other trendy term one might select.
Let me help you out with something, Mr. Gaither. Helicopter parent is a pejorative term for parents who are paranoid, suffocating, and often forbid normal healthy activities for their children. Invasive parenting is also an abnormal parental response, resulting in a parent going to ridiculous, unethical lengths to ensure their child’s well-being and success. These are also frequently referred as PFHs, or “parents from hell”.
What you really meant to say was that Ms. Hurlbutt’s research seems to indicate that most traditional schools are ill-equipped to deal with the special needs of special needs children, but that parents- naturally and deeply invested in the well-being of their own children- are often absolutely up to the task.
No problem, Mr. Gaither- you can thank me later with chocolate chip cookies, or maybe some fudge. Just glad we were able to straighten that out.
Milton Gaither
May 4, 2012 at 12:05 pm
Dear Susan,
You’re not the first to take exception to my wording here. Please note that I was only summarizing Hurlbutt’s article. My main point in fact was that these nine families are by no means representative of all parents with children with autism. The specific parents Hurlbutt describes are the sort that are VERY involved in their child’s life and often very critical of what the “professionals” in the school system think. I would not be surprised if some of the teachers and administrators who had worked with these parents viewed them as PFHs!
Regardless, to avoid the perception that I’m being pejorative, I’m going to drop the two references in my post. Thanks for your helpful feedback. My only goal is to bring the results of academic research on homeschooling to a broader public audience. The last thing I want to do is offend conscientious parents.
Susan Raber
May 4, 2012 at 3:35 pm
Thanks for your reply Mr. Gaither. I understand that your intent was not to be insulting or demeaning. But it does raise a good question- when talking about special needs children- which schools are admittedly unable to help in a consistent or efficient manner, much less in a nurturing environment- exactly what behaviors would characterize a PFH? Parents often have legitimate reason to be critical of what the “professionals” in the school system think, especially if their children have been under served.
I understand a certain amount of scrutiny aimed at homeschoolers- after all, we are apparently part of the Rebel Alliance. But when reports of abuse of special needs children start pouring in from all over the country (as exampled by this article- http://www.ndtv.com/article/world/teachers-caught-abusing-special-needs-kids-202931), and teachers readily admit that until they walked in the shoes of a special needs parent, they had no idea what the challenges actually were (see this post- http://flappinessis.com/2011/12/01/an-apology-from-your-childs-former-teacher/) I think a little less skepticism about the homeschooling parents of children with ASD is warrranted.
Uhm… does this mean I’m not getting any cookies?